Les Whatever: The script
by Whatsoeever
Summary: A little script to the movie Les Misérables. It sums the whole story a little bit up and is maybe a little bit funny.
1. Chapter 1

_Part 1: This is Javert. Do not forget his name. Do not forget him._

EPIC MUSIC: *Starts playing*

WEATHER: *is an awful storm*

ME: Wait! Is this the Endeavour from PotC? The name would fit in this movie..

101 DALMATIANS..EH.. MEN: *singing while they pull the Endeawhat out of the ocean*

24601: Look down! Look down! Don't look him in the eye! It's like in the horror movies. The eyes are evil and it's always the little girl.

JAVERT: WHAT DID YA CALL ME? I AM JAVERT!

101 MEN: Look down! Look down! Don't look him in the eye!

24601: *looks him in the eye*

JAVERT: *gives him the bad finger*

JAVERT: I can see you! And I can hear you! I don't care about this storm! I AM JAVERT!

101 MEN: Look down we said! What is wrong with you, 24601?

101 MEN: *finished their work*

101 MEN: _Now_ look down!

24601: Noooooooooooooooo!

JAVERT: *stops him*

JAVERT: I AM JAVERT! Now go and get me this flag!

101 MEN: Now, that's what you get from not listening..

24601: *is abnormal strong and carries the flag like a babe*

JAVERT: Now you can go. Do you know what that means?

24601: Yes, i am a grown-up Individual and I am able to understand.

JAVERT: No! You are a dangerous man AND I'M JAVERT!

24601: What? I only stole a loaf of bread! And for that i was your slave. 19 years!

JAVERT: 5 years for what you did to my holy bread. And the rest for running! You don't leave Javert! I will follow you! The rest of your life! DO NOT FORGET ME!

24601: You are the creepiest girlfriend ever.

JAVERT: I AM JAVERT!

24601: Yeah, i got that. My name is by the way Jean Valjean. You didn't get that after 19 years, did you?

JAVERT: 24601! AND I AM JAVERT!


	2. Chapter 2

_Part 2: The journey of Jean Valjean_

JEAN VALJEAN: *walks 5 steps*

JEAN VALJEAN: I'M FREE! I DID MY WAITING! 12 YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

JEAN VALJEAN: *walks around the world*

MAN: Hey, I've got some jobs! Someone need one? Anyone?

JEAN VALJEAN: Yes, i could need one. I do everything!

MAN: God, are you Javert's Ex? Sorry, I was wrong. No work here. Go away!

JEAN VALJEAN: *goes away*

MAN: Hey! Does anyone need a job? Here is soooo much work for everyone!

JEAN VALJEAN: …

JEAN VALJEAN: *asks somewhere else for jobs*

EVERYONE: No! You are Javert's Ex. Noone can forgive you forever!

JEAN VALJEAN: But I need a job! And a place to sleep! Please!

EVERYONE: No! Not you!

KIDS: You're the guy who betrayed Javert! Haha!

KIDS: *try to stone him*

JEAN VALJEAN: What's wrong?

_..._

JEAN VALJEAN: Okay, so I sleep at this chapel or whatever...

BISHOP: He-

JEAN VALJEAN: NO, I'M NOT JAVERTS EX OKAY PLEASE LET ME SLEEP HERE! I DO NOTHING! I'M NICE!

BISHOP: Yeah yeah, come on! I don't like Javert and I don't believe his lies. So let me give you food and a warm bed. I don't know you, but I believe in humanity.

JEAN VALJEAN: *eats like a pig and probably stinks like one*

BISHOP: Oh, look how lovely he is...

WOMEN: Are you mad?

BISHOP: Can't you see it? He is such a nice guy.

JEAN VALJEAN: *steals all silver in the night*

POLICEMEN: Look what he did! And you didn't believe Javert! He is dangerous! We better take him back to jail.

BISHOP: Noooooooooooooooo! It was a gift! You maybe don't believe me, but hey, Jean Valjean, I give you everything that's mine. Maybe I die, because I have nothing left to eat and no money, but I want you to be happy!

WOMEN: WHAT EVEN? WHAT ABOUT US?

BISHOP: I only care about him.

JEAN VALJEAN: *gets in a midlife crisis*

JEAN VALJEAN: God, what did I become? I wanted to be the nice Jean Valjean again... but I became 24601, like Javert always said. I'm not the same person anymore.

JEAN VALJEAN: *runs dramatically up and down*

JEAN VALJEAN: Now I will be a better person! Not 24601! Not Jean Valjean! I will take a france name, noone can pronounce correctly! That's a good plan! Ahahahahahaa

JEAN VALJEAN: *runs dramatically to a cliff and rips dramatically Javert's last loveletter*


End file.
